WHAT YOU FOCUS ON MULTIPLIES-
As a mom, looking back at my daughter’s childhood, I can see how being focused on all that was wrong with the diagnosis negatively impacted our home life and brought on unnecessary and additional stress when she was in elementary/middle school, which I’m not going to lie, felt overwhelming and chaotic just about every single day! The worrying was extremely real. Now that she’s a young adult, looking back, I wish I had maintained an intentional positive focus even during those challenging times. This has been my most significant growth as a parent of a special needs child, and it is why I advocate and coach other parents on being intentional about what they focus on, the positives, the gains, the strengths, and the growth of their child’s development and acceptance of their needs. By doing so, it can help with lessening worrying and increasing positive emotional health. I support parents by letting go of comparing their children to others and allowing them to focus on how to make it work for them.
If we constantly focus on the problems and compare rather than finding and developing a great plan, the difficulties and hopelessness, and skepticism multiply, and we can become overwhelmed and lose sight of all that is possible with the right approach, support, accommodations, and services. Of course, it’s still important to acknowledge existing problems, but nothing good can emerge from constantly focusing on them. That focus will never change your situation, make things better or stop the future intended for your child. Still, an upbeat, positive, and intentional approach can help to make the path feel a little less bumpy and worrisome and bring a sense of emotional balance in the chaos.